The lady's for turning

In preparation for the geographical weirdness that is Epsom, I've just been watching the RUK replay from Cartmel and, believe me, racecourses don't come much stranger than that.

Only a lunatic would send a horse there ( I believe my husband once had Bold Cardowan run there so I rest my case). It's awful. The horses never actually run on a straight line and the jumps come thick and fast. To prove my point, Moonfleet just ran second in a steeplechase today and he won Badminton last year (and yes, before you all post saying what an idiot I am, I realise Andrew Hoy's lovely Moonfleet ran under the name Empty Wagon and is unlikely to be entered at Cartmel in the height of the eventing season).

So, we had a great pre-Derby/Oaks pedigree gathering tonight in the company of one Tony Morris and buckets of wine. For what it's worth, my Derby trifecta is Authorized (pictured), Anton Chekhov and Strategic Prince (a must on breeding but Jamie the Juddmonte guru reliably informs me he won't run unless the ground is firm, in which case I will call on Petara Bay as my reserve).

I really want Dalvina to win the Oaks but I'll be happy with one of Henry Cecil's runners or Godolphin's Measured Tempo, from a really lovely family.

I won't be making the trip to Epsom - particularly pathetic as I'm staying in London at Julian's tomorrow night for our annual Derby dinner. I haven't made it to Epsom since I left London for good but I will make an exception when Anis Etoile runs in the Oaks next year (or maybe the Coronation Cup the following year). We will, however, be heading back to Chantilly, where I've been called into action as part of Manu's press office team for the Prix du Jockey-Club on Sunday. John will be enjoying a pre-birthday outing (yes, he's 41 next Thursday) and our official translator Alix will be joining us, as will my old H&H mucker Pippa, part-owner of Conquest, who is due to run in the sprint on Sunday. It's hard to imagine a lovelier racecourse than Chantilly, apart from Cartmel, of course.

Either way, a good weekend is in store, not least because we (that is John and Sarah Tidmarsh, I'm just cadging in on the action as usual) have a G3 runner in Queensland on Saturday – none other than the bold Somewhere Safer. A Saturday morning trip out to the little boy's grave at Moulton to see which Derby colours are resting there is a must. I predict it will be dark green and cream (or is it white? Hell, we all know Authorized is going to win).

Go Frankie, Go Dolly.