Trying to be brave

This week started so full of hope and anticipation of the impending birth of Desiree's Kayf Tara foal. He duly arrived on Monday but was delivered dead, three days ahead of his due date and a week before Oscar was born this time last year.

So it's been a week of moping around feeling terribly sad - a weird feeling mourning an animal we've never even got to know but sad nonetheless because the wait for a foal seems endless and this little man got so close to being here. And, from a very selfish viewpoint, the growing excitement I've felt all year at the thought of having a foal by a horse who was a real favourite on the racetrack has now been snatched away. The one consolation is that Desiree was unharmed during the foaling and seems to have taken this tragic turn of events in her stride with the minimum of stress and unhappiness. Of course we never actually know what an animal feels but the tendency is for us to force human emotions on them. She will almost certainly have been perturbed by delivering a dead foal but anyone who saw her out picking grass in her Norfolk paddock yesterday could not have felt for a second that she was an animal in great distress. She's moved on and now so must I. As I type that I have the oft-used words of my great friend Nigel ringing in my ears: 'It's not about you!'.

Seeing Oscar, Desiree's Sulamani yearling, while I was at the farm was a huge tonic. Although he officially turned one in January, his actual birthday is next week and he's still a long way behind the older colts he's turned out with. He bears strong resemblance to his mother despite being Sulamani's light bay colour (and for those of you who remember Sulamani racing, Oscar is likely to be similarly light-framed throughout his career - let's hope he's even half as good).

Some of you may recall a power-packed chestnut Largesse filly who was here for a while by the name of Chilli Cracker. The colt on the left of Oscar is her first foal by Avonbridge - a horse built as solidly as his mother and certainly bred to sprint as Chilli was very fast, as was Avonbridge. He's off to the Doncaster yearling sales in August so Oscar will have to learn to adapt to life without his friend but for now they are inseparable. Nicky Howarth and Chris Murray do an excellent job of looking after the horses in their care. I couldn't be happier with the condition of my two and I'm sure other breeders who have their horses with them will feel similarly pleased with their commitment to the job and to the mares, foals and yearlings. It's not easy having to break bad news to clients - I know because this is something John has to do on occasion - but they handled a distressing situation in admirable fashion.

Don't tell John but I haven't read his blog for a while (never enough hours in the day to get stuck into the training version of War And Peace) but I do know he must have written something, possibly rude, about Jeremy Vine as he emailed him today to say he had taken the comments 'in good heart'. I suppose I'd better find the offending article, possibly exert my editorial powers in hindsight and issue a grovelling apology to Mr Vine. Sorry Jeremy, but good onya (as our Australian friends would say) for being so sporting. Last year John upset John McCririck and another journalist. I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on his blog before the libel lawyers are onto us.

So much has happened in the last ten days that it's been a blur. The Guineas were fantastic, except for the fact that I'd have loved to see Serious Attitude win. She'll be back though and, in the run-up to the big day, Rae Guest and his wife Rachel Flynn set the perfect example of 'how to keep your head when all about you are losing theirs' by appearing to be completely unflappable and dealing with all the interest in the filly with their customary good humour, civility and complete openness. Rae's an excellent trainer and I can't wait to see how The Serious One, as she has been dubbed by Laura Thompson, gets on in the sprinting division this summer. Good luck to all and, in the meantime, good luck to Fantasia (left) and all her team in their quest for the Poule d'Essai des Pouliches on Sunday. I'll never forget her scintillating debut in the middle of an unbelievable storm on July Cup day. Any horse whose first appearance on the racecourse is accompanied by the God of Thunder must be special indeed.

And for a Sunday engagement that won't attract as much attention worldwide but will have the eyes of this stable fixed firmly upon it, look no further than the mares' bumper at Uttoxeter and the long-awaited debut of Anis Etoile. We've had a few false dawns so I possibly won't believe it until I actually see her jump off but here's hopin'. She's a wonderful filly and her many owners, of which I am one, have been very, very excited about this event for a long, long time. She's fit and well and we'll see what Sunday brings.